By Anthony Vecchiarello
Spring Breakers and Mob City
Our favorite artistic pothead James Franco appeared on Conan alongside Neil McDonough, from the upcoming TV series Mob City, and Country Soul musical artist Nikki Bluhm & The Gramblers last night.
Ever since marijuana was made legal in the state of Colorado, homeowners have been giving their pets medical marijuana. If they are not already sitting on their couch, they will sit some more, replied Conan O’Brien while lecturing his audience.
“A cat will not smoke a bong on its own,” Andy Richter said confidently.
Conan laughed and described that a new study was made where 88 percent of people disapproved of texting while walking. The other 12 percent have been killed, Conan reiterated.
The 2016 Blind Cricket World Cup will be held in Pakistan and India. Conan revealed that, from space, the field “looks like a vagina.” Conan and Andy then made fun of how the astronauts must get lonely up there.
Another study was done which discovered that 50 percent of teenagers never had sex. Conan added, “The study was done by a creep.”
Andy then demonstrated his paper turkey decoration on his podium. However, Andy told Conan and the crowd that it was no easy task. A flashback ensued with a ripple effect. Andy was in the woods drinking paper beers and hunting for paper turkeys with his paper binoculars. Andy spotted a paper eagle and a paper deer. He then shot down one of the paper turkeys with his paper rifle. Suddenly, two paper poachers held Andy captive by paper chaining him around a tree. Andy was able to cut his way out with scissors and made a paper Sasquatch machine that unleashed the paper Sasquatch who then ate the paper poachers. Afterward, Andy said, “A story of the one time I took LSD.”
Conan then hosted the “Conan Audiencey Awards” where he gave out random awards to people in the audience. The awards ranged from audience members impersonating Mario and Luigi from Super Mario Bros. to Kenny G, the manager of “Pete Philly Jazz Café” and an international impersonator of Russell Brandt. There was also an award for the loudest clap, someone with enormous hands, an award going to the audience member who’s using the show to get his girlfriend back and to the guy who takes himself too seriously. Conan and Andy ended the Audiencey Award show by going back to 1992. Andy was decked out in a grungy outfit explaining how much he could not wait to see the Stone Temple Pilots in concert. Conan yelled out the last award to another impressionist.
Academy award actor James Franco then sliced and kicked across the stage to the chair. After Conan kicked the air, Conan said to James, “Somehow it’s sexier when you do it.”
The crowd was all excited for Franco’s appearance. Franco admitted he won “Best Smile” in high school. He remembers getting braces for the third time and did not have his retainer during the photo shoot. James had to close his mouth for the senior high school picture to hide his braces.
Conan then brought up something James has been dealing with in public: a European look-alike of Franco posing himself as “the real James Franco.” Franco met the double at a party in Toronto and took a picture with him. James said the guy has a thick European accent. “How do I know you’re not him?” Conan asked Franco.
Conan, six months ago, was also mistaken for someone else when a Park Ranger thanked him for taking his friends out to dinner and on a boat in Mexico. Conan was never in Mexico. Franco then joked that maybe the Park Ranger confused Conan for an older version of Robert Redford.
James and Conan then discussed the fans of Alien, who is his rapper character from Spring Breakers. Franco explained there are three levels of fans. The first level is for fans of the film. The second level is fans who dress up like Alien at Halloween and the biggest fans are the ones who get Alien tattooed on their bodies. Conan showed a photo of an anonymous fan with a full tattoo of Alien, with all the bling teeth, dreadlocks and sunglasses. James and Conan have mixed feelings about sharing their opinions with fans that get tattoos of movie characters. James does not want to say anything harsh because it’s stuck to their body forever. James also does not want the responsibility of putting his name or signature on someone’s skin. During a comedy tour that Conan and Andy were on, a fan walked up to Conan and randomly lifted up his arm which revealed a tattoo of R2D2 holding a Corona.
Franco visited Conan to promote his new movie Homefront where he plays a meth drug dealer. These parts have become a continuous trend, from being a drug dealer in Pineapple Express to Spring Breakers and to now Homefront. Franco might make a believable drug dealer on screen but not in the real world. Franco would enjoy all the high times and murders, but not the business aspect. He hates the idea of keeping track of drug inventory and is horrible at chemistry. “I would be the sidekick on Breaking Bad.”
Conan then showed a clip from Homefront where James warns a group of meth heads to stop cooking meth within his drug territory. An Oscar ad for Alien from Spring Breakers was displayed as the word “shit” was used. Conan then asked his producers if he’s allowed to say “shit” on the air. When they nodded, Conan responded, “They were watching the Patriots games, wait a minute that was Monday.” James, returning the conversation back to him, described how he is proud of Spring Breakers even if the Oscar experts did not understand it. “What is this whippersnapper,” Conan screamed imitating the elder Oscar people. Homefront opens in theaters on Wednesday November 27.
Neil McDonough from JustifiedCaptain America: The First Avenger and the new TV series Mob City then came out. Neil and Conan immediately were comparing each other’s Irish family heritages and giant heads. Growing up as a kid, Neil’s nickname was “Head Stir” because of his huge head. He now has five children with all big heads. Andy also has a big head and shared a memory in which he had to use a ricotta cheese tub as a Prom King crown. Neil and Conan know what it was like growing up in a house full of siblings. Neil has four brothers and one sister. Conan also had many siblings in which he wouldn’t know who was using the bathroom. Conan then showed a picture of Neil with his pregnant wife and Neil’s hand on her belly with four fingers up representing the fourth child. Neil has been doing that for each child and now will stop after five so he won’t have to reach around his wife’s belly with the other hand.
Conan expressed his liking for the show Justified and the psychotic villain that Neil plays. The writer of Band of Brothers promised Neil to get him on Justified knowing that at some point in the show his character was going to be naked and high on Oxycontin. The nude scene, which also included a disturbing part with a boy handcuffed to a sink, was aired in the eighth episode. Neil can always do nude scenes by himself, but never sex scenes. Conan poked fun saying he wouldn’t enjoy a sex scene with a beautiful woman. Neil prefers spending those times with his wife.
Neil’s latest project was working with visionary director and producer Frank Darabont on Mob City who has also already done The Shawshank RedemptionThe Green Mile and The Walking Dead in the past. Neil stars alongside an ensemble cast of Edward Burns, Jon Bernthal, Simon Pegg and Jeffrey DeMunn in a show about the LAPD dealing with the mob and Bugsy Siegel during the 1940s. Conan showed a clip from an episode where Neil, the “Chief of Police,” is giving his officers a pep talk. “Neil is naked most of the time,” Conan added. Catch the premiere of Mob City December 4 at 9 p.m. on TNT.
Country Soul musical guest Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers then sang the song “Little Too Late” from their debut self-titled album. With three guitars, drums, a piano, tambourine and a talented voice, they sounded a bit like Fleetwood Mac. Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers was discovered on YouTube after one of their videos went viral. On January 25, they will perform at The Fillmore in their hometown.
After the performance, Conan thanked all of his guests. “That felt like eight minutes,” Conan told Andy.
Catch Conan weekday nights on TBS at 11/10c.
image from TBS