By Anthony Vecchiarello
Thursday night’s episode of Conan featured actor/musician Jared Leto, actress Kaitlin Olson from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and musical artists Ricky Skaggs and Bruce Hornsby.
Conan O’Brien came on to the floor with a bright comical smile while Andy Richter’s podium was in pieces.
Conan shed some good news though, the government has finally reopened. The President has called for a new era of Bi-Partisan. But Conan added John McCain stated it was a “worse government shutdown than in ’95.” Conan replied to McCain saying he meant 1795. In 1795, John McCain was 44 years old and was cleaning his son’s musket, Conan said. Conan continued as he looked at the crowd laughing. The Tea Party has hit a new low after the government reopening, with a 30 percent approval rating. Conan added, the Tea Party is now supported by a minority.
Scientists have found the cure to marijuana addiction. Conan explained as he said, “Now they just have to find someone who wants to be cured.”
Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, now approves of gay marriage. Conan said, if his child was homosexual, he would hug them and treat them with respect. Although, Conan stated, Chris said the same thing about Keebler cookies and the little Leprechaun.
In Paraguay, a 99-year-old female and 103-year-old male finally got married after being together for many years. The secret to their relationship, Conan replied, is having no recollection of who they are.
Lindsay Lohan got a tattoo of a triangle. “She must’ve crashed into a yield sign,” Conan said.
7-Eleven will now begin selling upscale $50 wine bottles. That will go nicely with the many hot dogs, Andy added.
Disney was in the media after they revealed that one of the Disney Princesses is bi-sexual. Conan then said, “One of the Princes is straight.”
China is bullying America by downgrading the U.S. credit rating. Conan then showed a clip from “Why China Is Kicking Our Ass” for number 756. It was about an American teenager falling face first off bleachers and hitting his forehead on a metal folding chair; ouch. “He doesn’t know how to use a chair, sad,” Andy responded somberly.
Since the government’s reopen, all of the National Parks are now reopened as well as the Panda Cam at the zoos around the country. Conan went to check in on one of the Panda Cams at a nearby zoo. When he did, it was a guy dressed up in a panda suit out of his cage, smoking a cigarette with his panda mask off his head. The guy immediately put the Panda mask back on and crept back into his cage once he realized he was being watched.
Conan then revealed to the audience that Mike Myers is expecting a new born child soon. Conan continued the discussion with a video montage of several news anchors from news channels all responding to the trend with, “Mike Myers says, ‘Yeah Baby!’”
New Pope Francis (really actor Dave Allen, known for Freaks and Geeks) then made a surprise visit to the studio on his Harley Davidson motorcycle. Pope Francis, who only has been Pope for a few months, has already been tolerant of gay marriage, sold his car, lives outside of the Vatican walls and plans to sell his motorcycle next to charity. The Pope has been on a spiritual road trip where he hung out with friend Val Kilmer and a shaman in a sweat lodge. In Los Angeles, the Pope went to a Dodgers game but is more a fan of the Cardinals, since he is Pope; hashtag #popejoke he said. Pope Francis, or Fran as he likes people calling him, added he will be having confessions and serving medical marijuana for anyone in the audience. Andy said the Pope’s favorite song must be “420,” Fran then added hashtag #weedjoke. Pope Fran told Conan, the door is always open as he has a photo of gourmet food trucks stationed outside the Vatican. Fran then took out a T-Shirt that read “Popin’ Ain’t Easy” and gave it to Conan; hashtag #popinainteasy. Pope Fran then magically backed out his Harley Davidson through the curtains while the shaman joined him outside the studio lot. Conan in awe yelled, “Coolest Pope ever.”
Actor/musician Jared Leto then came out with a full beard and long hair looking like John Lennon. Jared, who has been in such films as Fight ClubPsycho and Requiem for a Dream, was at Conan to promote his newest movie called Dallas Buyers Club. He also is the lead singer for heavy rock band 30 Seconds to Mars. Jared took off five years of acting so he could go on tour with his band. He wound up setting the Guinness World Record for longest musical tour of two and a half years with 311 shows. He’s played around the world from China, Africa and France to name a few. There are a group of committed fans referred to as “The Echelon.” Conan and Andy were frightened by the idea until Jared explained they’re basically, “Grateful Dead without the patchouli and LSD.” Conan revealed that Jared is known to get the crowd excited during a show. One such quote from Jared, Conan read aloud was, “Challenge your audience. If you don’t I will come down there and lift you off by your testicles.” Jared laughed and responded he does not usually grab people by their testicles, but at times will jump into the crowd during a show. Then when Jared asked Conan if he tries to get his audience to have a good experience, Conan replied, “No.” Conan and Andy prefer putting on a more relaxing and calm TV show. film Dallas Buyers Club is set in 1986 when AIDS and HIV were just becoming a known threat to society. Jared plays a transsexual named Rayon who has AIDS as well as Matthew McCaughney’s character. It is based on a true story. Jared lost 30 1bs., waxed his entire body and stayed in character on set the whole time. When Jared would walk around set as “Rayon,” the tougher men on set would open doors for him, ask him to dinner, etc. Conan displayed a photo of Jared in his “Rayon” costume sitting with his mother. In the photo Jared is almost unrecognizable and looks unhealthy. Makeup artists added HIV sore prosthetics to make him look sicker. During his method acting, Jared would have to go home to wash off layers of his makeup so he can find his real face. Conan then showed a clip from the film where Jared is talking to his doctor, who is played by Jennifer Garner. Jared does not enjoy seeing himself on screen so he requested that Conan put his coat over his face. Regardless, the performance and acting were remarkable. See Dallas Buyers Clubs in select cities on November 1.
Kaitlin Olson, who plays Dee Reynolds on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, came out looking great, but still like a skinny bird for which the gang consistently pokes fun at her on the show. Conan showed a quick clip from the latest episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia where the gang quarantines themselves in a bathroom to discover they’re only going through alcohol withdrawal.
Before acting, Kaitlin wanted to be a secretary as she enjoyed the fantasy of flipping her hair, playing desk and writing notes as a kid. It did not turn out as fulfilling as she thought when she was a secretary in college. During the first few weeks of being a secretary she kept smelling toast. She thought it came from the break room until a coworker told her that was the smell of a crematorium down the block. A crematorium is a place where they cremate or burn up dead bodies. Conan stated that must be a horrifying experience to remember. Kaitlin revealed she still liked the smell.
Kaitlin then described her experience when she had to be brought to the Emergency Room after receiving a huge gash in her leg during the filming of an episode. They were filming the episode that had Lethal Weapon 6 where she played a cop and her husband Rob McElhenney was Murtaugh, so his face was all black. They filmed it in an abandoned warehouse when her leg went through a metal slate. Her blood bag by her stomach also burst at the same time. So when the paramedic was checking her leg, they thought she cut her stomach open as well. Then when they arrived at the ER, everyone in the waiting room was staring at Rob, because he was still in his black face Murtaugh makeup. Conan showed a funny photo of him.

Kaitlin has two boys, a 1-1/2 and a 3-year-old. She explained how she potty trained her 3-year-old Axel. Kaitlin would have her son watch her pee. Axel asked Kaitlin if he could wipe her, but she said no because then she will get pee on him. The next few weeks Kaitlin’s son kept saying his mother was going to pee on him at Pre-school. Kaitlin also said, “It used to be funny to call them (her children) dick bags.” However, now that Axel is old enough he’ll just repeat what she says in school. Conan joked that social services would be arriving soon. Catch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FXX.

Ricky Skaggs and Bruce Hornsby then performed the song “The Way It Is” from their new live album titled Cluck Ol’ Hen. The ’80s song, “The Way It Is” was played in a folk style this time. The band featured guitars, a banjo, a cello, a violin, and a piano. Both artists are aging but the performance still rocked. Ricky Skaggs and Bruce Hornsby perform today at the Center for the Arts of Performance in UCLA.
Watch Conan weekday nights 11/10c on TBS.
Image: TBS Newsroom